Leaves and light

Fall in this province is beautiful. The rich red, orange and gold colors are glorious to behold. But, for me, it's a reminder that darker days are ahead, both literally and figuratively. I don't need an expert diagnosis to know that I am deeply affected by the change of seasons. Sunlight is life-giving, energizing and makes my heart sing. In the summer, I often get up an hour before my alarm clock goes off, just because I can. That extra time makes me feel more productive and gives me time for meditation, or just to think. Then, along come the fall winds, the first frost and -- wham -- I feel like something knocked me over. I can barely drag myself out of bed when the alarm goes off. I find myself wishing I'd gone to bed earlier the night before, even though 10 p.m. is a late night for me. I crave the light. And, when there's not enough of it in nature for my liking, I find myself turning on every light I can find indoors. If it's dull and dreary, I want no part of it. Thank goodness we've reached the stage in our society where Seasonal Affective Disorder is recognized as a condition which many of us suffer through. But having a label may legitimize what I'm feeling, but it doesn't make me feel any better. This fall, I'll try again to find reasons to be optimistic and do more than just endure the winter. I'll strap on those cross-country skis again with my son, and be happy that the sun's warmth doesn't completely leave us in our part of the world. And, in this, Mental Health Awareness Week, I'll just try to remember I'm not alone in my lust for light.