Off the treadmill

Yesterday was one of those fall days that makes me appreciate life in our little corner of the world. I looked out across the city to the Blow Me Down Mountains and the fall colors on the hills on the west side. It was calming to take that moment to really see what's right before me. I know I often miss the blessing that's in front of me, because I'm too busy doing what "needs to be done". I told someone last night that I feel like I'm on a treadmill. I'm doing a whole lot of moving, but I'm not getting very far. But I sure do find myself getting tired. It feels sometimes like life is just an endless litany of "What do I have to do next?" I'm a terrible procrastinator in some ways, with projects that seem too big, too monumental to attempt. I'll never be able to get that done, so why start? I get bogged down in the minutiae of life: making lunches, paying bills, cleaning the bathroom. But the big picture gets lost. Weeks, even months, go by without spending time with friends, or picking up the phone to call someone with whom I haven't spoken in far too long. I'm resolving to do my best to get off the treadmill more, and experience the relationships that life is really all about. At the end of my journey, I want to be able to say I did more than just finish my to-do list. I may never get all those items ticked off, but I hope my life will have touched others in some meaningful way.